Sunday, January 30, 2011

quiet!!!

This week was a little chaotic with all the doctor and dentist appointments, sick kids, and just our regular schedule. I had a couple of times this week when conversations with my children ended up in conviction to me, not because of what they said but God speaking through them.
The first conversation was with my little guy on the way to pick up sissy from school, I had asked him if he wanted to listen to a cd, his response "mommy let's turn everything off and sit in the quietness of God." This totally hit me like a ton of bricks. Here is my 5 year old speaking wisdom of a seasoned Christian, but unfortunately not from my example. We are so used to the noise these days we forget what quietness is, to sit and be still seems like such a chore. But we did, we turned everything off and just sat in the quietness. It was wonderful, for one Gage was quiet, but also to just let my thoughts be, whether it was in prayer or just thinking. My thoughts were mine, not someone else's I was not bombarded with music or talk, I was responsible for my thoughts. I'm not saying listening to music, talk radio, or watching tv, etc, is all bad all I'm saying is sometimes we just need to "sit in the quietness of God"
Psalm 46:10a
Be still and know that I am God.

P.S. the 2nd conversation is for another day!
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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Someone say Doctor????

Yesterday was full of doctor appointments, 3 to be exact, a dentist appointment, and one child home from school throwing up.  I was so thankful to have my husband working from home to help.  One doctor appointment was routine for son to have his medicine checked but with a little twist we had forgotten about, we have to have blood work done this next week to check on insulin and thyroid. Not a big deal really, but if I think real hard or dwell on it ever bad possible circumstance comes to mind.  Same with my doctors appointments yesterday.  They were able to rule things out after a few common lab tests, but no solution, so tomorrow is doctor appointment number three for me and hopefully an answer, but until then the doctors words swirl around in my head, could be not a big deal or could be a really big deal.  The news from the dentist that I have a infection in my gums and need a root canal really didn't seem like such a big deal.  Even in the midst of running around. I was able to love on my sick daughter and bring her lunch in bed and just let her sleep and read.  With everything in one day you would think I would be a pile of mess on the floor, but God knew what he was doing, he kept me busy.  He had my daughter sick so I could focus on her, my husband working from home to take some of the burden, and He had a car ahead of me with the license plates Phil 4:6 on them.  Here's that verse "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." 
and if you continue to read verses 7-9 this is what it says " 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
I do have a peace with all that's going on, I have to practice daily to not be anxious, to not let my mind swirl around with possibilities but to focus on what is praiseworthy and to put God on the Throne. 

Friday, January 21, 2011

FRIENDSHIPS

I've been thinking a lot about friendships. My daughter complains that she doesn't have very many friends since she switched schools, but I can't remember a weekend she hasn't been invited to something. My son makes friends everywhere where he goes, he has the "pirate" friend he met at the storage unit, the fed-ex friend, the dominoes friends from the Y, & his inanimate friends like "lampy" & "boardy". So you can imagine his disappoint when he came to me and said " I can't wait to be old enough to be on Facebook,so I can have lots of friends" and I say " when you get old enough for Facebook it probably won't be around." Non stop sobbing occurred and we invented the "facebook" he would have when he was old enough.
But that got me thinking. How many friends do you have on Facebook? How often do you get online to check the status of your "friends"? How many of us keep up with friends on Twitter? Don't get me wrong I love Facebook, I post everyday & its been great for re-connecting with old friends. My thought isn't just about online friends, but our physical, touchable, breathing friends, that we have coffee with, go to the movies with, have playdates, or call on in an emergency. My thought you see is how often, how much energy, and time I put into making sure these friendships remain "in good standing" and how often I put my friendship with God on the back burner. I know with all my heart how blessed I am with the friendships I have and know without a shadow of a doubt that they were/are given to me by God. So why don't I always spend the time with the giver? We all have our excuses, but one thing I do know, when my Friendship with the Creator is the most important relationship, all my other friendships are great too.

Jeremiah 17:5-8

CHECK OUT: Phillips, Craig & Dean video on YouTube "I am a friend of God"


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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

offended?

We went to McDonald's Playland Monday, to meet with a friend and her son. Our goal, to sit and watch the boys play while we sit and chat and enjoy adult conversations. Ha! Since there was no school due to MLK day I think every other parent on the west side of Wichita had the same idea.  No seating in the play area, barely any seating in the whole place. We ate quickly to get the boys playing. Went back to the play area where there was standing room only.  I thought driving a bus of 72 camp kids was loud and chaotic, that had nothing on this event.  Kids of all ages screaming, crying, laughing, pushing, pulling, well you get the idea.   My autistic son had a melt down while trying to go across the swinging bridge. He starts yelling "Everybody stop, so I can try this!" I overhear comments from parents about not controlling my son, but I'm getting used to that.  I go over to my son say take deep breaths, he then starts running across the bridge using his quick deep breathing and saying "get out of my way, get out of my way!"  but to see the joy and excitement as he made it across was priceless.  My friend's son was younger and having a hard time getting up into the play area, it was so sweet to see not only my son, but many other older children seeing that he needed help and doing so.  At one point my son became very overwhelmed and had to be put in a "hold" to keep him from hurting himself or others. A parent sitting next to me says, "don't let him get away with it, when he's 13 its going to be worse." I just let it be, but then he says "its always interesting to me to see how mom's try to reason with their children" I finally said "things change a little when your child is on the autism spectrum" and turned back to my son and working on calming him down. The man says "now that makes since, I'm a retired child psychologist, and now see that what you're doing is a result of education on your part. You are the parent that has realized things don't quite fit the "norm" and will do whatever you need to help your child be a great asset to society some day." I was shocked, I was overjoyed, I was encouraged, I wanted to stay and talk more, I was thankful God had put that man at McDonald's that day.  This was a lesson to me in a couple of ways. First, it's ok for me to speak up about my sons disorder at times,  secondly I need to work on not be offended by what people say, allowing them to display an opinion even if it is uneducated. 
This got me thinking about my spiritual life.  How often am I afraid to speak up about my Savior in fear of being an outcast?  How often do I become offended if I think people won't or don't agree with my beliefs?  My Savior was a servant, he loved people, he brought healing, he gave his life so that I might have mine.  Is this what I convey to those around me? I hope so, but know I don't always, praise God that everyday is a new day and a good day!!!!






Monday, January 17, 2011

daddy

My dad was diagnosed with "picks" disease around a year or so ago. Picks is kind of like Alzheimer's but from what I understand it is very aggressive. My dad turned 67 in late November. I miss my dad tremendously, but he's still with us.  It just amazes me and hurts me at the same time how much has been taken from my dad in such a short period of time.   The funny thing is I think God gave me a few years with my autistic son, before my dad's diagnosis so I would be a little prepared for the idiosyncrasies of someone with mental issues. I never would have imagined a few years ago when we first started learning about my son and ways to help him, that ultimately it would help me deal with my dad as well.  The hardest part about it being my dad, isn't that he doesn't remember the little things, it's that he doesn't remember us. He remembers my husband as a good friend of his, and me as my husband's wife, but not as his daughter.  Crazy how the brain does that.
My dad wasn't perfect by any means, but he did the best he knew how. I hope my kids will say the same 0f me. My dad taught me to work hard, he taught me the value of a dollar, he taught me how to laugh. I love my dads smile, both his goofy one and his real one.  I love that he would say no matter how big I got i still had a bony butt! Even the days when he was unemployed from what he loved to do(teaching) he still worked to provide as best he could for us.  Nothing will ever take the place of the drive home when I would pick him up from work from the evening shift.  I miss my conversations with my daddy.  I wish we had more, but am so thankful for the ones I had. He recognized my voice for a few seconds the other day, both joy & sadness in such a short conversation. Never take today for granted, God gave this time to you for a reason. Do SOMETHING with it.  There are people out there who need you, they may not know they need you, but please please be willing to stop, look, and listen for ways you may meet the needs of others.

Colossians 1:3-6
 3 We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, 4 because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— 5 the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel 6 that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace.


1 Thessalonians 4:7-12

7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.
 9 Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. 10 And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, 11 and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.




     I Like this quote I dislike this quote

“Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad”






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Saturday, January 15, 2011

discern

I love to read, I always have a books overflowing from my nightstand. I have books piled in my favorite reading spots. I have book shelves in the open for all to see my books, I have bookshelves in the closet with books on them. I do sell books online, so that may be helpful or not! The good thing, my kids love to read. I was cleaning out under the sink in my daughters bathroom, I found 11 books! She is the kid who we ground from reading. My son loves to read, yes he can read some, but really loves to be read to. When he comes home from school on library day, we read the book ASAP. We then have to reread it until it is the day to return it. Don't even think about returning it to the library without reading it. He will pay the fines himself just to make sure the book has been read. Going to the public library, we check out around 25 books each time just for him.(Oh and BTW my husband knows how to read!) I read my son a book the other day about Penguins in poem form, I am going to share one of them here: REGURGITATE Its been one whole hour since I ate. Why is my dinner always late? While you and Mom procrastinate, I might become a featherweight. You know what I'd appreciate? Cough it up Dad! Regurgitate by Judy Sierra I just thought this was really funny and gives you an idea of my personality! My thought for this blog was not just about books and how much my family likes to read, but really about what you and I read, why we read it, and what we do with information we get from reading. I love knowledge. I love to learn, I soak up information, but sometimes I forget to discern. I do research on the internet, but forget sometimes that some articles are opinion, not necessarily fact. Or sometimes its half truth with a bunch of mumbo jumbo. The same is true of nonfiction books, some are very factual, statistical, contain truth about the subject matter. Some are mostly true with the authors opinion sprinkled throughout. some are absolute truth, and thats it. As far as fiction we know it is not truth, but sometimes long for it to be truth. We see the characters as friends or family and sometimes become envious of their lives. My point? No matter what you read take time to discern what is written, take time to think, to really think, about what you're reading and how it may affect you. Your actions taken from what you read could easily affect others around you as well. Recently I took an article as absolute truth, when in reality it wasn't and my actions could have caused some change around our house, by the grace of God it wasn't as bad as it could have been. The only book that can be taken as absolute truth is the Word of God. I don't care if you don't agree, this is my blog, but also because I know the Savior I also know the truth!
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

snow day

I know I am not the only mother not 100% thankful for the kids being home 2 days in a row. Maybe it's because they have barely been back from Christmas break, maybe its because I grew up in the north and this weather wasn't that big of deal, maybe its because the 5 yr old isn't great with huge change. Whatever it is I am ready for them to go back.
We enjoyed the snow on Monday, made snow angels, "painted" the snow with food coloring, and had a mini snowball fight. Yesterday, we went "exploring" and found icicles to draw with. Today, I needed to get back to "normal". So much for that, I did play Wii bowling, & played dollhouse with bubba, let my daughter be entirely lazy, did some laundry, so I guess the days really weren't bad after all. It is all about perspective. Today was a great day. God is good & we are so blessed.
But they better have school tomorrow!!!!! :-)
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Monday, January 10, 2011

Resolve

I am not a big believer in New Years resolutions, but I do believe in making change, setting goals, and bettering yourself.  My resolution this year was not to make resolutions, so I guess I have succeeded!  Resolution means to make a firm decision to do something, a steadfastness, maybe even stubbornness.  So how can that really work in the real world?  I make a resolution to read everyday, I am firm in my decision, I am even stubborn in reading everyday. I do whatever I can to get my reading in everyday, but at what cost?  Thats probably why the fitness centers are empty by March, the cost was too much, even if the cost was just getting off the couch and showing up to the fitness center.
 I am learning, with both my children, that I have to resolve every day to be open to change.  To be ready for change. My stubbornness, my steadfastness is in the form of allowing life to be life. To allow the unexpected to happen. To see a perspective I may have not seen. To love each person differently. To treat others beyond what they expect. To even expect difficulty, hardships, disappointments, & frustrations, but not to focus on them. To let them be what they are, and eventually find the good in them.  
Both my children help me do this, one is so laid back, the other is so obsessively self-controlled, I can't help but see the irony.  In every situation, one or the other of them reminds me that Life is Life and I can't control it.


Romans 8:28 (The Message)


 26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Keeping it Simple

Our holidays did not turn out at all as we had planned. Thanksgiving's trip to see "Bammer" was cut short due to flu.  We spent our Thanksgiving keeping temps and food down. Those of us who could keep food down, did enjoy some McDonald's.  It wasn't at all what we planned, but ended up being quite nice, just the four of us hanging out watching movies with the occasional cleaning up of throw up.

Christmas was even less what we had planned. We were to have family come to our house, a total of about 14, not counting us, and not just for one meal, but for days. Due to illness again, this time worse we did not host, and were not able to even join the family for the Christmas meal.  The thing is, it didn't devastate us.  To me it was actually one of the best days of my life.   Not because of where it was spent, but because of what it is about. We celebrated the birth of our Savior in a small room, with a small tree, with very few presents but with the people who mattered most. Our focus was on Christ, not on what we received from each other, we realized for the first time in a long time what Christmas really meant. Christmas is about Christ and Christ alone.  We must live each day focused on the God-head because one day of focusing on yourself and your problems can mean the difference between life and death, either figuratively or literally.

1 Peter 2:24 

 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”